An engineering manager I once worked with noticed his best team member was slipping into silence. Smart, loyal, but clearly “checked out”.
We unpacked it in our coaching programme, like sleuths keen to get under the skin of what was going on. A slightly adapted version of Ken Blanchard’s situational leadership provided a valuable lens. We considered the following:
Confidence
Had something happened that impacted the engineer’s confidence? Were they asked to work on something new where they had the competence to deliver, but lacked track record? Did something happen in a previous project or even in their personal lives that knocked their self-esteem? How clear were they about what was expected of them?
Competence
Had the engineer been asked to take on something where they really did lack the skill and/or underpinning knowledge required? And if so, did they fear making mistakes and/or being “found out” at the meetings? Were they experiencing “imposter syndrome” if recently promoted?
Commitment
Or was the issue more hidden – perhaps they’d fallen out with someone else in the team? Was there a family crisis at home? Were they bored with their work? Did they think the team meetings wasted time that could be better spent on an urgent deadline?
The need to investigate – nicely
It turned out that the manager didn’t really know enough to be sure what was going on. That in itself was telling. The manger was a good person and genuinely cared about his team. But he admitted to being very busy and focused more on the technical aspects of the team’s activities. He acknowledged that he’d not been consistent in conducting the monthly one-to-ones that he originally intended when first promoted to the role of team leader.
He decided to re-introduce them. This was a smart move, as he would then find out about the whole team and gain a holistic view of what was going on, without being seen to single out the individual in question.
We worked together on his preparation so that he was equipped to explore with each person the three C’s above, listening intently with compassionate curiosity.
The discoveries
To his surprise and delight, the manager discovered many helpful things. For example, more about the specific support individuals needed from him, and great ideas for how the meetings could be improved.
As regards the particular engineer, as is often the case, a blend of factors causing the disengagement emerged…
The individual was unclear about their priorities and too intimidated to approach the manager. He perceived his boss to be too busy and reluctant to hear any negative news. He was concerned not to let his boss down, and felt bad that (experienced as he was) he couldn’t work things out on his own. He was picking up subtle vibes that he was being disapproved of, which made him retreat further.
One of his children was not getting on well at school. He and his wife were becoming concerned that the child may have learning difficulties.
Plus, he’d had a couple of “turns” that his doctor thought to be minor panic attacks. This both worried and embarrassed him greatly.
Unable to share any of this at work, he was keeping a low profile and avoiding the meetings to side-step unnecessary stress. So, in a way he was taking care of himself. Fair dues to the team manager, he pointed out this positive angle out to the engineer, who was visibly relieved.
The outcomes
The manager was able to listen patiently, expressing his empathy and support. He reassured the engineer that he would be clearer about priorities in future and set up a subsequent meeting right away to address them (using another tool we covered in the coaching programme).
As a result of our coaching, the team leader conducted the one-to-ones with confidence. He had a toolkit that included the framework we used in preparation and some handy stock questions up his sleeve. And he remembered to enter into each of the dialogues with a mindset of careful and empathetic listening.
There is little so powerful as a well-framed conversation led with curiosity and empathy! Sometimes, the most productive thing a leader can do is ask the right question at the right time.
The outcomes achieved provided all the positive reinforcement the team leader needed to keep going with the regular one-to-ones.
Everyone benefitted. The perceived safety in the team took a positive leap, and this supported the kind of environment where innovation thrives and staff retention increases.
Interested in the same results?
To explore coaching for yourself or your team leaders, simply get in touch for a conversation.